Feeling overwhelmed without feeling guilty seems impossible today.
The blessing of technology is that we are able to accomplish more in less time. The curse of technology is that we are expected to accomplish more in less time. And more is not always better.
If you find yourself wondering how to conquer feeling overwhelmed without feeling guilty, you are not as alone as you may feel.
Every single time someone or something prompts you for a response, they are, in essence, demanding a “yes.” In general, women are especially conditioned to meet everyone else’s needs before meeting our own and it can easily lead to feeling overwhelmed.
We are conditioned to “stay on top of things,” answer quickly, accomplish tasks without even thinking about them, keep up with the world’s alarming pace…and “like, like, like” everything just to stay in the good graces of a social circle we may not even know in person.
Overwhelm is the natural outcome to all of these demands, and guilt is its nagging sidekick.
Anxiety and feeling overwhelmed come from not following through on your goals, tasks, and expectations.
A lot of people know exactly what is causing them to feel overwhelmed, “I can’t follow through…I’m afraid of failure…I’m afraid of being judged…I’m expected to take care of everyone,” etc.
They know what’s holding them back but cannot answer what they are going to do about it.
You probably know what’s holding you back too – if you choose to look deeply enough.
Admitting the problem and delving deep to find out what’s at the root of your feelings of overwhelm is the first step to being able to conquer it without feeling guilty.
You’ve got to work hard to really fix things.
One of the most common ways women get themselves into a state of overwhelm is to pile themselves up with “should’s”. They “SHOULD” all over themselves!
Adding a bunch of should’s to your task list is just giving yourself away and setting you up for feeling guilty. Because should’s are rarely things you truly want to do, you’ll either do them and postpone the things you really need to do or else you’ll postpone the “should’s”. The unfortunate thing is that whichever choice you make you’re just saddling yourself with guilt and anxiety.
One great way to tackle the should’s in your life is to let go of the ones without personal meaning and importance to you. You may find this difficult to do at first, but the more you practice letting someone else take care of the things that do not matter to you, the more you will be conquering the overwhelm you struggle with.
Stopping the compulsion to always take on one more task because someone asks you to help them out is challenging. Saying “no” and meaning it does not come naturally to most women. Instead, if we say “No”, we tend to feel tremendous guilt.
However, the truth is that the only person who can make you feel guilty is YOU. If you want to conquer feeling overwhelmed without feeling guilty here is a simple thing you can do. Develop a script you can use over and over again so you can comfortably tell others “No”. Remember saying “No” to others is saying “Yes” to you.
A sample script is:
That sounds really interesting, but I’ve decided not to tackle that right now so I can focus on a couple other things I want to get done.
Having a go-to response like this one when someone asks you to do something you do not want to do will help you dramatically cut down your should list.
Ultimately the way out of feeling overwhelmed without feeling guilty is also the way into focusing on what you truly want…and having the best chance of achieving it. As the saying goes, “there is never a no without a deeper yes.”
If we can help you on your journey, reach out to us. We are here to serve you.