Most people think that their life is not their fault and not of their choosing. When in fact they have choose ever aspect of it. You have chosen what to respond to and what to react to. You have chosen the people to keep in your life. You have chosen where to apply for a job and whether or not to stay at that job. You have even chosen your partner for life. You choose every day. I did and still do. For years I wanted to blame others for my situations and misfortunes. You probably want to balk here and say, “NO” it is not true. I did not choose to be abused, let go or broke, but I would beg to differ with you. We choose every day. We choose by how we respond or react to the world around us. By the meaning we put to things and the labels we wear.
It is pretty obvious to me now why I was the way I was over the years, some bad things happened to me and I kept reliving it and thinking about it every day as something would trigger that memory and reinforce my belief. I played the victim and thought to be a survivor. My depression, emotional or disordered eating, self sabotage wasn’t based on what happened. It was based on what I did with what happened. I generated it from the bad questions I asked myself every morning when I got up until I went to bed. I did a lot of “stinkin thinkin”. I would ask myself the following questions, “What’s wrong with me?” and “why me?” I would come up with the same answers all the time, “I am never enough”. I would see examples all around that supported that notion.
I spent years trying to figure out WHY to no avail, I just had to STOP. I had to start taking responsibility for my life good or bad. I had to decide. You can do that too. Learn to take responsibility for where you are now. The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. Your decisions and choices up to that moment lead you to where you are. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
If you need to get a handle on your fear of being not good enough, please reach out. We can help you can get on with your life.