Do you always worry about what others say or think about you? If so, you may be suffering approval addiction and imprisonment from a deep need for others to like you.
How a person was brought up affects one’s need for approval such as lack of positive feedback and sense of worth as a child. She may have been neglected or abandoned emotionally as a child. It could also be because you are stuck on unrealistic and idealistic role models from TV, movies, books, etc.
How can you tell if someone is seeking approval?
• People who have a need for approval usually work hard at being good at different aspects of their lives such as their job and relationships with friends, family, and partner.
• Avoid conflict because of fear that other people will disagree with their opinion.
• They tend to be incompetent, lack self-confidence and are convinced that no matter what they do, they are not good enough.
• They fear rejection so they work hard pleasing people by doing what they think others want.
• Desire to feel loved, appreciated and it’s a validation of what a person believes in herself.
Everyone deep down inside wants to be loved and accepted, the only challenge is when we do it at the expense of ourselves. So often, we make decisions to please others and then privately beat ourselves up for doing something that is against our better judgement just to please another person. Think about all the decisions you made in to in order to make someone else happy and left yourself angry or resentful for having to do something you did not want to do. How did you deal with it after the fact? Did you celebrate your decision or did you condemn yourself afterwards verbally or mentally or physically? Too often, we give in to get for approval and then pay the price later.
If you need to get a handle on your fear of being not good enough, please reach out. We can help you can get on with your life.