Where was it written that there was a limit on beauty? Why do women question themselves?
Where did this gene come from in women that when we see someone beautiful we begin to question ourselves? This is too familiar to me. I remember growing up in my twenties getting ready for a great evening out with my friends. I would do my hair and makeup and look in the mirror feeling really great about myself thinking I looked beautiful.
Driving to the club I’d be singing in the car and enjoying the tunes looking forward to the awesome evening that was ahead of me. Then I would get to the nightclub, the music was blaring and I would look for my friends, everyone dressed to the hilt. Then it happened, there was Roxanne looking more fabulous than ever, and all of a sudden I was the ugly duckling. My mirror had lied to me, I wasn’t beautiful, I was hideous. Her legs went on forever and her long blonde hair was blowing and captivating anyone that looked her way. The evening was over before it began. There was no room for two beautiful women.
This may seem like an exaggeration, but I assure you it was my reality at one time. I remember saying to myself, why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I be beautiful even in the presence of other beauty? The answer was never logical, but the behavior was insidious.
It made me think how can I admire someone else’s beauty without judging my own? Where did this rule come from that there was a limit on beauty? I do not remember anyone ever telling me this, but somehow it became my reality and it needed to stop.
I finally figured it out. I was never enough. I compared myself to others because I didn’t think I measured up and always wanted what I didn’t have. If a beautiful woman had long flowing blonde hair down her back, that I would never have, it validated my belief since I had brown hair down to my shoulders. If she had long legs that never stopped, mine had a limit. Where was it ever written that we couldn’t all be beautiful and it doesn’t limit anyone else’s graces?
Fortunately, that is no longer the case and if you are a version of the old me, it no longer needs to be your reality either. Start with gratitude and begin my admiring yourself first. If you are anything like I was I needed to go to the basics, I admired my eyes, then my hair, then my smile. I was grateful for my ability to walk, talk, see, be and have. I graduated to liking myself as I was and eventually learned to love myself for who I have become.
When we learn to F.L.Y. First Love Yourself it is easy to admire the beauty in others without condemnation. The world gets bigger and there is room for even more beauty without questioning your own. You are free to shine a light on others; which in turn shines an even brighter light on you!
Know you are already F.A.B. Fabulous, Awesome, Beautiful and that will never change!
If you need to get a handle on your fear of being not good enough, please reach out. We can help you can get on with your life.