Women Just When Did We Lose Ourselves?
Just what is it that knocks vibrant, intelligent women of track in their 40’s, leading to them to ask dreaded questions “now what?” or “Is that all there is?” Many call this period a “mid life crisis” but that’s basically a cop out, making it sound the problem is unexplainable which couldn’t be further from the truth.
Think about it; women are care givers and problem solvers. We multi-task which can be a gift and a curse. We take care of our husbands, children, friends, pets, parents, work full time and do our best to look attractive . . . you hear me right? Unfortunately, all these tasks and special duties make time fly by until one day, the kids don’t need us anymore, and they’re off to school, moving on with their lives, as they should, but it leaves an empty hole in our hearts and our lives which can seem impossible to fill. On top of that, in your 40’s time is beginning to catch up and when you’re already feeling vulnerable, every little wrinkle on your face, age spot or those few extra pounds look even more prominent then they really are. All of a sudden we don’t even know that person is in the mirror! Who is she and where did her younger, carefree self go?
A lot of professionals say that these feelings are the start of 40 something women getting to know themselves all over again, which can be scary process. Most of us spend the first half of our lives trying to please everyone but ourselves; an exhausting impossible task. Most of us spend our lives nurturing others, sadly making us completely ignore our own needs. It’s no wonder that we end up feeling lost when the so called “mid life crisis” hits. So how do we handle our personal turmoil?
In many cases, a woman in this stage of their lives will decide that nothing is satisfying anymore; not their relationship, their job or even their beliefs. Some struggle with their looks and opt for botox or plastic surgery or injections that create clown like lips, some find themselves looking for new friends and almost all turn to food, making it their new “best” friend. Unfortunately, turning to food has all the wrong consequences, leading you to weight gain, loss of energy and an overall loss of self esteem. The more you eat, the tighter your clothes fit and the more you feel that you’ve completely lost control of your life. Fortunately, with the right mindset, it doesn’t need to be this way.
Take a good, hard look at yourself in the mirror and congratulate yourself for a job well done. Rival in the thought that it’s all about you now and you have a whole new life to live. Stuffing yourself with sweets and fatty foods will end up shortening you life at a time when you should be excited about getting to know “you” again. Instead, take a class, learn a language, join a hiking or walking group, plan a romantic trip with the hubby or travel abroad with your best girl friends. Just picture yourself on a cruise ship where you’ll be able to wear that sexy little number because of the bangin figure you have thanks to that Salsa class you’ve been taking.
Not all women enter the “mid life crisis” phases of life, but those who do don’t need to linger there. It’s possible to blast out of this stage and end up, at the end of the day, totally liberated and excited to find out just how special you are and how far you can go during the second half of your life.
If you need to get a handle on your fear of being not good enough, please reach out. We can help you can get on with your life.
